In her book she provides parents with information on [...]]]> Bringing Up Geeks: How to Protect Your Kid’s Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World is a parenting book written by Marybeth Hicks. She is an author and weekly columnist on family issues at the Washington Post. She is also a popular speaker on raising children in today’s world.

In her book she provides parents with information on how to raise children who can resist peer pressure, are strong to pursue their passions and excel at school. She shows parents how to pass on important values and morals and abstain from today’s pop culture pressure. Today’s culture encourages consumerism, superficiality and high-risk behaviors. Kids nowadays, through the media, are bombarded with “negative” messages and grow up far too quickly. Raising GEEKs (Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids) is the message the author, Marybeth Hicks, is passing on to parents.

Marybeth Hicks’ book is a wonderful guide on how parents can help their children to become strong, compassionate, caring and intelligent adults. The author gives parents the confidence to go against popular culture and stand up for their own morals and values.

There is a belief by these parents that their children will be naturally appreciative [...]]]> Many parents strive to have happy kids.  In their efforts, they are loath to see their children upset and seem to do anything to allay the child’s consternation.  So, what child wants, child gets. Child doesn’t want, child doesn’t have to do.

There is a belief by these parents that their children will be naturally appreciative and hence will behave inordinately well. However, when their children do not behave as hoped or expected, the parents will admonish the child, advising of how well the child has it and hence should act more reasonably. Typically the child shrugs off the lecture and the parent feels more beholding to the child for upset caused by reasonable expectation and the parent winds up seeking to undo the child’s distress by giving in to the greater demands of the child. A vicious cycle ensues and eventually the child acts with a tremendous sense of entitlement, is out of control and increasingly is doing less and less in terms of reasonable expectations such as helping around the house or taking care of school work. The child does what he or she wants and literally nothing else. The parent feels impotent – helpless to do anything about the situation.

In truth, in the pursuit of their child’s happiness, parents forget to hold their child accountable to reasonable expectations. Rather than being concerned by the child’s objections to reasonable expectations, the parents need to concentrate on helping the child learn to tolerate frustration and learn to delay gratification and most importantly, learn to be responsible.

Parents must understand that they cannot purchase their child’s happiness and nor can or should they spare them from feelings of frustration. A child’s frustration is the life lesson that they cannot get everything they want as they want it. Some things they may never have and other things they may have to plan for. Learning these lessons, the child learns that life does not revolve around just themselves, but around others as well. Thus they learn to cooperate and get along with others in the pursuit of needs and wants. Further, the child learns that he or she cannot escape responsibilities and that the managing of responsibilities is tied to life’s rewards.

If you really want your child to grow up happy, the best thing a parent can do is concentrate on supporting their child to act responsibly.

As your child is responsible in behaviour and responsible in taking care of chores, school work and activities, then the child develops skills and learns how to cope in the world. Further, this child stays out of trouble, cooperates with others and completes tasks in a timely fashion. This child gets to reap the rewards of their responsible behaviour. They learn to cope with frustration and plan for things or events of interest. They also learn to cope with not obtaining everything they may want or desire.

If your child learns this kind of responsibility, then your child can be truly happy. This is the kind of happiness that comes from cooperation with others, intact relationships and earning life rewards by one’s reasonable actions.

So, don’t focus on your child’s happiness. Focus on helping your child become responsible and happiness will be the outcome.

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.

The results show [...]]]> Torgeir Alvestad, a researcher from the University of Gothenberg in Sweden, has written a fascinating thesis paper based on studying the play of two and three-year olds.   He finds that children this age are able to negotiate during play. In these negotiations they demonstrated invention, creativity, enthusiasm, industry, involvement, activity and problem-solving strategies.

The results show that children’s negotiations form part of their play, and that these negotiations have a clear purpose: to agree on both how they can be together in their play and the content of their play.

The results of the study show that young children’s negotiations during play vary, depending on whether the negotiations originate in agreement or disagreement. In negotiations that stem from agreement – in other words the children are agreed that they will share their play – the play features efforts by the children to understand their friends’ perspective as well as playful development of the imagination. However, negotiations arising from disagreement involve play that is more about power, domination and manipulation.

“A pedagogical consequence of the results is that adults shouldn’t intervene too early in children’s negotiations,” says Alvestad. “Just give the children time! Negotiations fit in well with the curriculum’s talk of children’s participation. “What’s more, adults shouldn’t intervene thinking that there’s a conflict between the children, as it is frequently a negotiation that’s happening, which requires a different approach.”

University of Gothenburg (2010, June 24). Young children are skilled negotiators, Swedish research finds. ScienceDaily. Retrieved June 29, 2010, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­ /releases/2010/06/100621101206.htm

Schizophrenia is a mental illness that is found in 1% of all individuals in the world, [...]]]> Researchers at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Columbia University have found that signs of schizophrenia can be detected in babies as young as a few weeks old. Their study is published in The American Journal of Psychiatry.

Schizophrenia is a mental illness that is found in 1% of all individuals in the world, and is characterized by hallucinations, delusions, and/or thought disorganization. It usually presents in late adolescence or young adulthood.

The scientists used ultrasound and MRI to examine brain development in 26 babies born to mothers with schizophrenia. Having a first-degree relative with the disease raises a person’s risk of schizophrenia to one in 10. Among boys, the high-risk babies had larger brains and larger lateral ventricles — fluid-filled spaces in the brain — than babies of mothers with no psychiatric illness.  The researchers found no difference in brain size among girls in the study. This fits the overall pattern of schizophrenia, which is more common, and often more severe, in males.

The findings do not necessarily mean the boys with larger brains will develop schizophrenia. Relatives of people with schizophrenia sometimes have subtle brain abnormalities but exhibit few or no symptoms. The team will continue to measure the children’s brains and will also track their language skills, motor skills and memory development. They will also continue to recruit women to the study to increase the sample size.

Lead study author John H. Gilmore, MD, professor of psychiatry and director of the UNC Schizophrenia Research Center, states that this finding could allow for early identification of at risk children, and strategies for early treatment or intervention may be possible.  This research provides the first indication that brain abnormalities associated with schizophrenia can be detected early in life.

Journal Reference:

1. J. H. Gilmore, C. Kang, D. D. Evans, H. M. Wolfe, M. D. Smith, J. A. Lieberman, W. Lin, R. M. Hamer, M. Styner, G. Gerig. Prenatal and Neonatal Brain Structure and White Matter Maturation in Children at High Risk for Schizophrenia. American Journal of Psychiatry, 2010; DOI: 10.1176/appi.ajp.2010.09101492

A recent study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders by clinical psychologist David M. Dunkley and colleagues at the Jewish [...]]]> Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is an eating disorder in which an individual eats large quantities of food, usually very quickly.  However, unlike Bulimia, the person does not “purge” the food by vomiting, use of laxatives, or excessive exercise.

A recent study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders by clinical psychologist David M. Dunkley and colleagues at the Jewish General Hospital (JGH) in Montreal, Canada studied a group of 170 BED sufferers and discovered that the severity of the condition, which is reflected by greater body dissatisfaction and depressive symptoms, appears to be linked to very specific histories of childhood sexual or emotional abuse, which in turn lead to self-criticism.  “Childhood sexual abuse or emotional abuse were associated with greater body dissatisfaction in BED, whereas physical abuse or physical or emotional neglect were not,” explained Dunkley.   He adds, “We did look at alternative theories, like childhood emotional abuse leading to depression which leads to body dissatisfaction and self-criticism. But it doesn’t seem to work that way. Self-criticism is the mediator. Without it, it doesn’t seem to progress to greater body dissatisfaction in BED.”

The study suggests that treatment of BED focuses on self-criticism to improve symtpoms of the disorder.

Journal Reference:

David M. Dunkley, Robin M. Masheb, Carlos M. Grilo. Childhood maltreatment, depressive symptoms, and body dissatisfaction in patients with binge eating disorder: The mediating role of self-criticism. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 2010; DOI: 10.1002/eat.20796

Dr. Pagani and colleagues examined the influence of television exposure at 29 months and changes in exposure by 53 months on psychosocial, academic, [...]]]> A new study in the May 2010 issue of Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine reports that early television exposure has negative effects on children’s functioning at follow-ups as late as fourth grade.

Dr. Pagani and colleagues examined the influence of television exposure at 29 months and changes in exposure by 53 months on psychosocial, academic, and lifestyle characteristics in the fourth grade.

At 29- and 53-month follow-ups for 1314 children from the Quebec Longitudinal Study of Child Development, parents were asked about the number of hours their children spent watching television each day.

When these children reached the fourth grade, teachers rated their academic performance, including mathematics and reading achievement, and psychosocial adjustment, including the child’s level of aggression and victimization by other children. Teachers also rated children on “classroom engagement” — a score that measured task orientation, compliance, and persistence.

Parents were also asked to report hours of video game use during a typical week, physical activity, and dietary consumption of soft drinks, sweet snacks, and fruits and vegetables. Body mass index was measured by trained independent examiners.

Results revealed that every additional hour of television exposure at 29 months resulted in a 7% decrease in classroom engagement (95% confidence interval [CI], −0.02 to −0.004) and a 6% decrease in math achievement (95% CI, −0.03 to 0.01), as well as a 10% increase in victimization by classmates (95% CI, 0.01 – 0.05) in fourth grade.

Each additional hour of television viewing also resulted in a 13% decrease in time spent in physical activity (95% CI, 0.81 – 2.25) and a 9% decrease in activities that required physical effort (95% CI, −0.04 to 0). For every added hour they spent watching television in early childhood, those in the fourth grade had a 9% higher consumption of soft drinks (95% CI, 0 – 0.04), a 10% higher intake of sugary snacks (95% CI, 0 – 0.02), and a 5% increase in BMI (95% CI, 0.01 – 0.05).

The researchers controlled for a wide array of variables that could have influenced the study’s outcomes, including the child’s sex, temperament, behavior problems, and hours of sleep at 17 months of age. They also controlled for factors such as family makeup, family dysfunction, and maternal education during the same period.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television exposure during infancy and less than 2 hours per day beyond 2 years of age. However, the researchers found that television exposure among the children they studied ranged from a mean of 8.82 hours per week at 29 months to 14.85 hours per week at 53 months.