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The teen years pose some of the most
difficult challenges for families. Teenagers,
dealing with hormone changes and an ever-complex
world, may feel that no one can understand their
feelings, especially parents. As a result, the
teen may feel angry, alone and confused while
facing complicated issues about identity, peers,
sexual behavior, drinking and drugs.
Parents may be frustrated and angry that the
teen seems to no longer respond to parental
authority. Methods of discipline that worked
well in earlier years may no longer have an
effect. And, parents may feel frightened and
helpless about the choices their teen is making.
As a result, the teen years are ripe for
producing conflict in the family. Typical areas
of parent-teen conflict may include:
- disputes over the teen's curfew;
- the teen's choice of friends;
- spending time with the family versus
with peers;
- school and work performance;
- cars and driving privileges;
- dating and sexuality;
- clothing, hair styles and makeup;
- self destructive behaviors such as
smoking, drinking and using drugs.
Dealing with the issues of adolescence can be
trying for all concerned. But families are
generally successful at helping their children
accomplish the developmental goals of the teen
years -- reducing dependence on parents, while
becoming increasingly responsible and
independent.
However, there are a number of warning signs
that things are not going well and that the
family may want to seek outside help. These
include aggressive behavior or violence by the
teen, drug or alcohol abuse, promiscuity, school
truancy, brushes with the law or runaway
behavior. Likewise, if a parent is resorting to
hitting or other violent behavior in an attempt
to maintain discipline, this is a strong danger
sign.
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Tips for Getting Your Teen to Open up
To many parents, their teen is a closed book, with a
padlock, and poison spikes, and maybe a big dog in front
of it. At times it seems impossible to get them to open
up and talk about their lives. But talking to your teen
and knowing about their lives is one of the best ways to
protect them from danger. Spying and snooping around
isn’t the best way to get that information either, it
will only upset matters if your teen finds out.
[Get Tips]
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