To many parents, their teen is a closed book, with a
padlock, and poison spikes, and maybe a big dog in front
of it. At times it seems impossible to get them to open
up and talk about their lives. But talking to your teen
and knowing about their lives is one of the best ways to
protect them from danger. Spying and snooping around
isn’t the best way to get that information either, it
will only upset matters if your teen finds out.
Here are a few tips to help your teen open up:
- Start young. Keeping a relationship going with
your child is easier than starting one when you
haven’t had one before. You may find them trying to
pull away once they hit a certain age; just keep at
it.
- Find common ground. Search for things that you
and your teen are both interested in. It’s easier to
talk about something that you both have in common.
That way, you can ask your child about a band’s new
album rather than the same old “how was school?”
- Be open to what they say. When you get your teen
talking, don’t be surprised if they say some things
you don’t like. Just be open to what they’re telling
you instead of being judgmental. You can tell them
you don’t approve of something without attacking
them. If they feel comfortable talking about serious
things, they’ll be more likely to come to you if
they have a problem.
Spend more together. A recent study showed that many
teens rate not having enough time with their parents as
one of their top concerns. Many teens feel they can’t
talk to their parents because they’re always at work or
busy doing something else. We often forget to take time
out from our hectic lives to pay enough attention to our
kids. Some suggestions for spending extra time with your
teen are:
- Set up a specific time every week to spend
time with your teen
- Have dinner at the table with the whole family
as often as possible
- Work out or engage in a sport with your kids
- Drive your teen to school instead of sending
them on the bus
While your teen may be reluctant to talk to you at
first, keep trying. Likely, you’ll eventually break them
down and they’ll look forward to talking with you and
spending time together.
