Parents, either couples or single parents, all
require time off now and then, time away from their
children, to get their second wind, visit with friends,
or perhaps take a course that interests them. Parents
tend to find their children much more delightful when
they have had some time to themselves. However, time
away from home is enjoyable only when parents are secure
in the knowledge that their children are in good hands.
How do parents go about providing safe services so they
can enjoy that important time away from home? First of
all, try to avoid feeling as if you are hiring a
substitute parent when you select a baby sitter. No
matter how conscientious the sitter, she will not care
for the child in precisely the same way as a parent, and
it's both unfair and unwise to expect a carbon copy
parent. Once convinced that the sitter is a decent, kind
individual, then it is best to allow that person to be
herself (within the framework of the family's needs and
rules) and to react with her own good judgment.
The Interview
Before placing a child in the care of an utter
stranger, an interview should take place and references
requested and scrutinized. This is the time for direct
questions and answers and also an opportunity for the
parent's instincts to come into play. Does the
prospective caregiver seem to be a warm, flexible human
being? Does she have views on discipline that are
reasonably close to yours? Does she seem to like
children and to be comfortable around them? It may be
wise to be somewhat cautious about a prospective sitter
who seems overly concerned with neatness and
cleanliness, who seems inflexible or depressed.
The interview is the proper time to discuss hourly or
evening rates. Does the sitter charge or is the parent
willing to pay a higher rate after midnight? This is
also the time to settle the matter of transportation.
Does the sitter provide her own or does she expect to be
picked up and returned home?
It is only fair to give the sitter general information
and specific instructions about your child and your
home. Be very clear about what you want her to do in
your absence. Describe the routines in your home,
particularly the ones that involve the child. Do you
read him a story before he goes to bed? Do you feel
strongly that he should not watch certain violent
television programs? Do you have very definite ideas
about discipline! A parent has every right to expect the
sitter to follow these general guidelines, still leaving
plenty of space for fun and initiative and creativity.
Advance Preparation
Prepare a sheet of vital information for your sitter,
and leave it in a convenient place such as directly over
the telephone. The list should include:
- Your name, home address, and phone number. This
may seem unnecessary but, in an emergency, sitters
have been known to "blank out" while trying to give
this critical information over the phone.
- The phone numbers of your doctor, the police
department, and the fire department.
- The name, address, and phone number where you
can be reached.
- The name and phone number of nearby neighbors to
be contacted in an emergency. (This should be
cleared with the neighbors in advance.) As a
back-up, the phone number and name of a relative or
close friend.
- The time you expect to return. If there is any
change in plans, and you find you are going to be
late, be sure to let the sitter know. There may be
people she will need to notify so they won't worry
about her.
Active Duty
After the sitter arrives, plan to stay on the
premises for at least 15 or 20 minutes. 'Me child should
be told in advance that Mother and Father are going out
and that "Susie" will stay with him. Even if he
initially seems accepting, it is not unusual for a
youngster to burst into tears when he realizes his
parents are actually going to leave him.
Although his tears may be genuine, they will most likely
fade fast once he recognizes the inevitability of his
parents' departure and that there is nothing he can do
to make them waver. This is especially so, if the sitter
is quick with a reassuring statement such as, "You know,
when I was your age, I used to cry when my parents went
out too. You can make other Suggestions for breaking the
ice or staunching the tears. The sitter can tell the
child she likes his house-and-why. She can tell the
youngster that she knows somebody else with the same
name he has, a topic that almost never fails to
fascinate a child. Suggestions like these from a parent
serve to convince the sitter that you deeply care about
the quality of the time she will be spending with your
child.
During the interval before leaving home, take time to
show the sitter the location of essential things. If you
live in an apartment building, point out emergency "its
or fire escapes. Leave candies and a flashlight handy in
case of a possible power failure. Test the batteries.
Explain where to find Band-Aids and review simple home
remedies for a bump or a bruise. However, juvenile
sitters should not be expected or allowed to give
medication to a child.
If the parents are going out for the evening, the sitter
should be told what snacks the child is permitted as
well as snacks for herself. (if you plan to use the
sitter again, be generous with snacks.) If the parents
are going out during the day and meals will be involved,
appropriate and simple instructions should be given.
It's difficult to find one's way in a strange kitchen,
so necessary implements should be set out.
Family Policies
- Each family and situation is different but there
are general rules and procedures that should be
covered in any babysitting situation.
- Is it okay to use the telephone! Perhaps it
would be wise to specify the length of phone calls
in case you need or want to reach home, Is the
sitter allowed to invite a friend for company or to
work on a homework assignment? Same sex? Different
sex? More than one? A group of friends on a baby
sitting assignment is seldom a good idea.
- What are the rules about answering the door?
Certainly a sitter shouldn't let anyone she doesn't
know into the apartment or house, no matter who they
may claim to be. It's too bad if a good friend or
relative is refused admission but actually that's a
sign that the sitter is doing her job well.
- Leave instructions on how to answer the phone.
If you are expecting an important call, describe how
you would like it handled, take a message? Call back
the following day?
- Be sure to reaffirm any important routines and
habits that were covered in the interview: What time
the child is to go to bed. is a night light turned
on; is the door to his room left ajar; does he have
special stuffed animals he likes to take to bed,
etc.
- Does the child have homework! If so, is the
sitter willing and/or able to help?
- Is the sitter expected to do some simple
household chores, such as washing dishes? if so. is
extra pay involved?
- Jot down any special words the child uses for
certain items or functions.
In one baby sitters' manual, the sitter's creed was
given; "Keep Them Happy, Keep Them Safe". That, after
all, is what babysitting is all about.
