Establishing a
Parent-Teacher Relationship
The first contact with your child's teacher, in many ways, is the most
important, This is the time you are building rapport and developing a
relationship of trust. Therefore, an appropriate time and setting is
important for the first brief encounter. A phone call, a note, or, best of
all, an initial face-to-face meeting is best. A good time to contact your
child's teacher is during the first week of school. This gives you an
opportunity to meet one another when neither has any complaints.
Otherwise, the first teacher contact can be unpleasant. The teacher is
usually calling to describe some unacceptable behavior or report a child's
tack of progress and her concern that a learning problem may exist. This
kind of contact usually puts a parent on the defensive, and communication
can be hampered. Neither party wins, and the biggest loser is your child.
However, during the first week of school, the teacher probably knows
very little about your child. Thus, you are in a position to provide some
helpful information. This is the time to mention then identify these. And,
last but not least, assure the teacher that she has your full support and
cooperation. Provide the teacher with your phone number and tell her to
feel free to call when help is needed from home. Let the teacher know from
the start that you want to work with her, not against her, so your child
will learn. Do not feel you are intruding or asking for special treatment.
You are simply indicating that you are truly concerned that your child
receives a good education.
After your child has spent six weeks in school, again call or drop a
note to check on your child's progress. If a conference needs to be set
up, do it immediately. Even if your child is doing well, you may still
want a conference. If your child is in kindergarten or first-grade, the following questions may be the most appropriate:
- Is my child able to get along with others?
- Can my child participate well in group activities?
- What can I do to encourage or help my child learn to read?
- Can you describe my child's reading program?
- In second and third grade you may want to ask these additional
questions:
- Is my child experiencing difficulty with any specific skills? If so,
what are they! How can we help him with these skills?
- Is my child experiencing any difficulty that may hinder him in the
future?
Guidelines
Let's consider specific guidelines to help you communicate effectively
with your child's teacher. Practice these guidelines, and your child will
reap the benefits.
Guideline 1: Identify the purpose for the conference. Is it to
become acquainted? Is it to alleviate your concerns about your child's
poor attitude towards reading and/or school! Or is it to receive a report
card and test scores? Each of these situations is vastly different
and requires different preparation.
Guideline 2: Communicate the purpose for the conference. If you are
requesting the conference, immediately tell the teacher the purpose. This
helps to alleviate any imagined fears the teacher may have about your
request to hold a conference.
Guideline 3: Arrange the conference at the teacher's convenience. The
teacher then has sufficient time to plan and to have the necessary
information at the conference. An unplanned conference can turn out to be
a waste of time for both teacher and parent and cause feelings of
frustration.
Guideline 4: Plan for the conference. Write out the areas and questions
you want the conference to cover. Combine, delete, and clarify these
questions, and, finally, prioritize them. By using this process, your most
important questions will be answered in a clear, succinct manner.
Moreover, the teacher's responses will likely be clearer and more to the
point.
Guideline 5: Restate the purpose of the conference at the onset. Try
to stay a on one topic since your time together is limited.
Guideline 6: Display a positive attitude during the conference. Be
aware that not only what you say reflects your attitude, but also your
tone of voice, facial expression, and body movements. A loud voice
may imply dominance. Rigid posture may suggest anger or disapproval.
Always listen attentively and show your enthusiasm.
Guideline 7: Remain open and supportive throughout the conference.
Don't become antagonistic or defensive; otherwise the conference
outcome can be disastrous. Strive for cooperation between you and your
child's teacher. Even when teachers present a negative side of your
child's behavior or inform you of other problems, try to remain
objective. This can be difficult when it is your child, but he will
experience as many or more difficulties if you and die teacher don't try
to find a way to work together to solve these problems.
Guideline 8: Make sure suggestions are provided to increase your
child's growth. If your child is doing well, find out what you can do to
ensure continued success and progress. If he has difficulties, make sure
the teacher goes beyond merely pointing out a problem. The teacher needs
to provide ideas for eliminating or reducing the difficulty. Many parents
have been discouraged or aggravated because teachers point out problems
but don't provide solutions. Don't let this situation occur! If immediate
suggestions can't be provided, then a follow-up conference is needed.
Guideline 9: Ask for examples of daily work to better understand your
child's strengths and weaknesses By reviewing your child's work, you will
learn if progress has been made since the last conference. Have any
weaknesses become more severe? If improvement hasn't been made, are other
methods or materials being used? As a parent, what should you be doing at
home with your child?
Guideline 10: Clarify and summarize each important point as it is
discussed. Thus, both teacher and parent are better able to develop a
mutual understanding and agreement. Let's took at a conference in which a
parent does a good job of clarifying and summarizing a major point.
Teacher Susan has difficulties with oral reading. She is not reading
smoothly and tends to read in a word-by-word fashion. if Susan reads
along with a taped version of a book, her oral reading would improve.
Can you provide Susan with taped versions of books?
Parent: Susan is a poor reader. Do you want me to make tones of books
so Susan can read along with the tape?
Teacher: Yes, you can make tapes, but the public and school library
can also provide you with tapes and books. Also, I would like to clarify
one point about Susan's reading ability. She has some difficulty with
oral reading, but I would not classify her as a poor reader.
Parent: Thank-you for the clarification. Susan and I will work
together on improving oral reading. We will check the school and the
public library for some books and tapes.
If the parent hadn't summarized and clarified what was heard in this
conference, a misconception might have developed- By suggesting that she
would tape books for Susan, the parent was able to find out if the
suggestion was appropriate as well as learning about alternatives. Notice
that this parent summarized the conference at the end so both parties
received the same message.
Guideline 11: Owe agreement is reached, discuss the next topic. During
the conference, you may want the teacher to understand certain things
about your child. or you may have a special request. Once your point is
understood and the teacher has agreed, it is wise not to continue the same
discussion. It may present new questions which may reverse the previously
made agreement. Once a decision is made, it is best to start discussing
the next point. You will find the conference to be much more productive.
Guideline 12: Make sure you understand the information the teacher is
supplying. Often teachers use educational jargon, not realizing parents
don't understand. Don't be afraid to ask for an explanation or definition.
Make sure when the conference ends you have understood all the information
reported. if you're confused or uncertain, your child won't benefit and
learning may be hindered.
Guideline 13: Keep conferences short. Conferences that run more than 40
minutes can be tiresome for both parent and teacher. If you can't
accomplish all that has been planned, ask for another conference. By
scheduling a future conference, you will have an opportunity to follow up
on previous agreements and revise them if necessary
Suggested Reading:
Building
Successful Parent-Teacher Partnerships (A guide for parents and
teachers)
Bad
Teachers : The Essential Guide for Concerned Parents (Through
sample situations and a wealth of information on today's educational
system, Guy Strickland--a teacher and school administrator for over 30
years--offers a practical approach to determine if a child's learning
roadblocks stem from a bad teacher, and if so, how to solve that problem
right away)
Getting
Involved in Your Child's Schooling
Communicating
Effectively with School Personnel
The
Parent-Teacher Conference
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