Personality is determined by the interaction of
temperament traits with the environment. Each person
(including your child) comes with a factory installed
wiring. How your child is wired can determine whether
they will be easy or difficult to raise. How well their
temperament fits with the environment and how well they
are received by the people in the environment will
determine how a child sees himself and others.
What is temperament?
Temperament is a set of in-born traits that organize
the child's approach to the world. They are instrumental
in the development of the child's distinct personality.
These traits also determine how the child goes about
learning about the world around him.
These traits appear to be relatively stable from birth.
They are enduring characteristics that are actually
never "good" or "bad." How they are received determines
whether they are perceived by the child as being a bad
or good thing. When parents understand the temperament
of their children, they can avoid blaming themselves for
issues that are normal for their child's temperament.
Some children are noisier than other. Some are more
cuddly than others. Some have more regular sleep
patterns that others.
When parents understand how their child responds to
certain situations, they an learn to anticipate issues
that might present difficulties for their child. They
can prepare the child for the situation or in other
cases they may avoid a potentially difficult situation
all together.
Parents can tailor their parenting strategies to the
particular temperamental characteristics of the child.
They can also avoid thinking that a behavior that
reflects a temperament trait represents a pathological
condition that requires treatment.
Parents feel more effective as they more fully
understand and appreciate their child's unique
personality.
When the demands and expectations of people and the
environment are compatible with the child's temperament
there is said to be a "goodness-of-fit." When
incompatibility exists, you have what is known as a
"personality conflict." Early on parents can work with
the child's temperamental traits rather than in
opposition to them. Later as the child matures the
parents can help the child to adapt to their world by
accommodating to their temperamental traits.
